is it time for me?
ever since my father passed away 11 years ago, i’ve frequently thought about or visualized the moment when it’s my turn to go. what would i be thinking? would i want to say some last words to certain people? would i be sad or angry? would i hold any regrets?
talking about death was a big no-no in front of my mom. but that doesn’t mean that it’s not going to happen to her or me. and i always believe that it’s not about the length of years I am around but about the quality of those years what i do for people in my life. certainly i can’t reverse the global warming. at least, i am proud to be a decent honest person loving my job to help people within my power.
and then today there was this moment had me go over these thoughts again. I ALMOST got hit by a car this afternoon. the driver seemed to be on the phone or simply didn’t pay attention. I saw this car took off from the stop sign and coming at me so fast as i was crossing the street on pedestrian path. the driver stopped abruptly only a few inches away from me.
the thought of me being killed right at the moment flashed by. surprisingly i felt very calm, peaceful, no regret, no what if, should have, etc. i was ready if that was the time my clock meant to stop ticking.
I guess i was somewhat prepared mentally. I gave myself a few points on this. but there are always more homework to do, thinking positively, utilizing my skills and the time i am still around, and more. life IS too short!